Liminal States of Love

Since attending a recent lecture about the feelings of, “Not Knowing,” in life I have been drawn to exploring more about the liminal status we can find ourselves in with relationships.

Anthropologist Victor Turner’s book The Ritual Process, Turner describes the liminal as a period of transition. . . ,”During the time spent in this condition, a person abandons his or her old identity and dwells in a threshold state of ambiguity, openness and indeterminacy. Only after undergoing this process may one enter into new forms of identity and relationship, and rejoin the everyday life of the culture.”

You often find in healthy relationships couples will continually re-engage with each other, helping to keep the relationship renewed and alive. Sometimes its difficult to work out what aspect of the partners identity helps us to retain the renewal. I think the key is to allow each other to change rather than hanging onto who we were when we first meet. In counselling work it’s really important that we move in a congruent way with the client. Allowing changes to unfold and transitions to be worked through. We remain open the changes that the client presents. In relationships often we can close down to the changes that occur in the other person. Some couples when they work in couple counselling  you can help them look at the transitions that are happening in the relationship and to each other. It can help cultivate an openness to each other which can help welcome the liminal states of love more.

Call Becky if your interested in couple counselling 07590684888 or want to talk through relationship challenges.

Taken from Wikipedia – Liminality (from the Latin word līmen, meaning “a threshold” is a psychological, neurological, or metaphysical subjective state, conscious or unconscious, of being on the “threshold” of or between two different existential planes.


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